Gravity Falls: The Adventures of Dipper & Matthew
by fanfictionlover96
Summary: When a Pair of twins are shipped to their Great-Aunts home in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Dipper Pines is worried that this summer will be like the others, But when she finds a mysterious book in the woods, Genderbend AU; Added a few differences to make the story more interesting and flow better. Please review.!
1. Tourist Trapped

**A/N I would like to thank all of you who helped me come up with names for my Characters. I am so glad that you all are supporting my story, but enough of that. let's get on with the story.**

Episode One:Tourist Trapped.

Ah, summer break. A time of leisure, recreation, and taking it easy.

Unless you're me.

Two children, a boy wearing a hoodie with a star on it, and brown cargo shorts, and a girl wearing a green hat, orange ¾ Sleeved shirt with a blue vest and a gray capris, are on a golf cart break through the "Welcome to Gravity Falls." sign, screaming. An unknown creature in pursuit of them, knocking over trees.

My name is Dipper. The boy about to pee himself is my brother, Matthew, or Matt for short. You may be wondering what we're doing running from a creature of unimaginable horror.

"Look out!" Matt yells.

(A tree grows right in front of them. Dipper swerves to avoid it.)

Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation for this.

Let's rewind. It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh. They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-aunt's place in the woods.

Matt is in the attic hanging up posters.

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" He holds up hands, which have gigantic splinters sticking out of them

 _(Dipper looks at her side of the room)_ "And there's a goat on my bed."

"Hey buddy." Matt says. he holds out his arm, and Gompers chews his sleeve "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my hoodie."

My brother tended to look on the bright side of things.

Matt is in a mud hole. "Yay! Mud"

But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.

A woman sneaks up behind Dipper in a mask. " **BOO!"**

"Ahh!" Dipper screams while the woman is laughing

And then there was my Great Aunt Sera, _(The woman is rolling on the ground)_ That woman.

Our Aunt had transformed his house into a tourist trap she called "The Mystery Shack". The real mystery was why anyone came.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" She exclaims, She wears her trademark fez along with a black dress suit, with the jacket buttoned closed, a bow tie similar in color to her fez, and a white dress shirt. She also wears big, light brown shoes and glasses.

cut to a Sasquatch wearing underwear. Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures.

And guess who has to work there?

Dipper is sweeping the wooden floor with a broom. Matt is looking at a jar of eyeballs _._

"This looks so cool!" Matt says reaching for the jar.

"No touching the merchandise!" Graunt Sera says, Slapping his wrist with her 8 ball cane.

It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day…

Matt is looking through a rack of T-shirts. "She's looking at it! She's looking at it" he says gleefully.

the girl is reading Matt's note aloud "Hey cutie, want to go on a date with me? Yes? Maybe? Absolutely?"

"I rigged it!" he says

"Matt," Dipper says " I know you're going through your whole "Girl Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part."

"Come on, Dipper!" Matt says "This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every girl you meet?"

 _(Flashback to Matt is seen with a girl at the register)_

" _My name is Matthew, but you can call me 'The boy of your dreams.'" (Girl rolls eyes and walks off.) "Call me!"_

 _(Flashback to a girl walking a dog in the park. Matt jumps up behind her) "Oh my gosh, you like dogs? I like dogs too! What is happening here?" (Girl screams and runs away) "Call me!"_

 _(End Flashback.)_

"Mock all you want, sister, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the girl of my dreams walked through that door right now."

Graunt Sera walks through doorway wearing a facial mask, Matt sees her and screams."What are you wearing?" he asked her

"A facial mask it keeps the wrinkles away, and I might bring a man here who might be your grunkle someday." she tells him and winks. Dipper and Matt shudder in horror while Graunt Sera Laugh until she clears her throat "All right, all right, look alive people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the Forest."

Dipper and Matt quickly quip "Not it!"

A heavy set woman on the ladder says "Uh, also not it."

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." Soos says. She is wearing her brown hat, a pair of dark brown shoes, beige shorts and a jade green shirt with a big dark green question mark on the front and the word "Staff" on the back.

The conwoman turns to the boy at the register "Wendall, I need you to put up these signs!"

The boy doesn't even look up. He is buff for his age and is a wearing a jade plaid shirt with a white tank top underneath, blue jeans and muddy rain boots. Wendall pretends to reach for the sign "I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh... "

"Ok, Fine. If no one wants to go in you're going to be volunteered. I guess we'll do this the old fashioned way. eenie, meenie, mieney…" She points to Dipper "you."

"What? Graunt Sera, you know I don't like being in the woods." The girl insisted. "I feel like I'm being watched."

"That's just your imagination, sweetie."

" No it's not, I'm telling you this town has some weird things in it!" Dipper rolls up her sleeve

"Just look at my arm! My mosquito bites spelled 'BEWARE' this morning!"

"Honey, that says 'BEWARB'," Dipper looks at her arm and rolls down her sleeve.

"Look Dipper." Her great aunt explains " The whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that."

She points to a fat, sweaty tourist laughing while he looks at a Sera-bobblehead's head bobble

"So please stop being so paranoid." She gives Dipper the signs.

"But.." her aunt gives her a stern look, she sighs and begins her trek into the forest.

"Ugh, Graunt Sera. Nobody ever believes anything I say." Dipper says under her breath, approaching another tree. She grabs a hammer and nail and begins to hammer, but it makes a metallic sound.

"Huh?" she wonders, she hits it again, the metallic sound is heard again.

"That's weird" she says, and upon further examining, discovers a door with two switches, she flicks the first one, and nothing happens. She flicks the second switch, and a hole opens in the ground.

"Woah" she exclaims looking down in the hole. She finds a old book with a six fingered hand and a 3 written in the palm of the book. She opens the book and reads.

 _"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I_ _began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon."_ Dipper flips through pages "What is all this?" she wonders. she stops at a page that says "TRUST NO ONE" _. "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust"._ She closes the journal. "No one you can trust…"

"HELLO!"

Dipper screams and looks up to her brother "What'cha readin', some love story?" he asks

Dipper hides the Journal behind her back "Uh, uh, it's nothing!"

"'Uh, uh, it's nothing!'" Her brother mocks. "What? Are you actually not gonna show me?"

"Um, Let's go someplace more private" Dipper says

"Wow, this book is incredible!" Dipper said. showing it to her brother." Granut Sera said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls is full of dark secrets and mystical creatures."

"Dude, this book rocks!" Matt says.

"And get this! After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it just vanished into thin air." Dipper explained, when there was a knock at the door. She asks her brother "Who could that be?"

"Well, guess it's time I squealed" Matt said, before he actually squealed "This dude got a date tonight with one lucky girl."

"Wait, I was only gone about fifteen minutes, How did you get a date that fast?"

"I dunno, guess these chicks can't keep their arms off of me." he replies with a grin, Then the bell rings again. "Coming!" he yells before he runs off. Graunt Sera walks in.

"Hey sweetie, what'cha reading?" she asked her niece.

"Oh," She hid the Journal and grabbed the closest magazine, "I was just reading the latest issue of 'Bling Bling for Granny Magazine'."

"Oh, I love this issue. have you seen…" Thankfully Matt interrupted her.

"Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!" He shouts before a girl walks in

"Wassup?" she says. She Looks at least sixteen and she is wearing a Black jacket with the hood up, torn jeans, and muddy boots. You couldn't tell what gender she was until she actually spoke.

"Hello." Dipper says hesitantly

"How are you doing?" Graunt Sera asks

"Matt how did you meet this girl?" His sister asks

"We met outside the cemetery, the near the creepy forest, Isn't she a catch?" Matt asks his family.

"Yeah, what was your name again? My brother never told us."

"Uh. Normal... GIRL!"

"She Means Nora" Matt says

"Are you bleeding, Nora?"

"No, its, uh, ketchup." she turns to Matt. "Hey do you wanna, I dunno, go grab some dinner?"

"Sure, I'd love too, see you girls later" and they left, but not before Nora ran into the wall a few times.

There was something about Nora that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.

Dipper is seen reading aloud the Journal upstairs in the attic.

 **Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious…**

 **UNDEAD!?**

Dipper let out a small yelp when she compared pictures of the zombies in the book when compared to Nora, the resemblance is uncanny.

"Just relax, Dipper, you're overreacting." She reassured herself, ooking out her bedroom window. "There is no way Nora is a… " That's when she seen Nora limp over to Matt. "Oh No, MATT RUN!" she screamed, but her brother didn't hear her pleas.

"You rule, Nora." he says, before she engulfs him in her arms.

"Matthew no!" his sister cried until she seen Nora release him, it was just a hug.

"Ok. Maybe I'm going crazy, but I'm sure my brother is dating a zombie."

"It's a dilemma, to be sure" Dipper turns to find a handywoman behind her.

"Soos, you've seen Matt's girlfriend. She's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"Have you seen her eat any brains?"

"No" she says looking down at her feet

"Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf, but you need to have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're nuttier than squirrel poop."

"As always, Soos, you're right." Dipper admits.

"This wisdom is both a blessing and a curse"

"Soos, a kid just threw up in the giftshop, I need you to clean up!" Graunt Sera calls out

"I am needed elsewhere." she says before running off.

I knew that Matt could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence. I decided to follow them around with a camera, so I could show it to Matt when I tell him. After a few hours I went back to the Shack and waited for him in our room. I waited about an hour before he came back.

"Hey, Matt, we need to talk about Nora. I think..." That's when Dipper noticed the red mark on her brother's face."Matt, what is that?" she said, demanding an answer.

"Relax, it's just a smooch mark Nora gave me." Dipper covered her mouth in shock. "Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!"

 _Flashback_

 _Matt is seen putting picture of Nora on leaf blower's tube."Kissing practice!" He leans into leaf blower, but then it sucks in the picture and sticks to his face as well. He runs around screaming "AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!"_

 _End Flashback_

"That was fun." Matt exclaims. His sister looks at him and yells

"Matt, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Nora is not what she seems!" she grabs the Journal and begins flipping through the pages.

"What? Do you think she is some kind of witch or sorceress? That would be so cool!" but his sister shakes her head

"Nope, take a look for yourself" She hands him the Journal

"you think she's a Forest Nymph?" he asks, His sister grabs the journal

"Sorry, wrong page." She shows him the zombie page.

"A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper."

"I'm not kidding, Matt! It all adds up: The bleeding, the limp. She never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Ever think that she is blinking whenever you do?" he asks.

"Remember what this book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!"

"Dipper, I'm not from Gravity Falls. You can trust me, right?"

"SHE'S GOING TO EAT YOUR BRAINS, MATT!" She exclaims shaking her brother. He finally snaps and pushes her away.

"ENOUGH! Dipper, listen to me. Nora and I are going on a date at five thirty, and I'm gonna be A TOTAL HUNK, and she's gonna be GORGEOUS," he screams pushing his sister out the door.

"But Matt," Dipper whimpers, but Matt is not listening.

"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!" and he slams the door in her face.

"Now what?" she sighs, slumping on the couch

Dipper is looking at her camera over videos of Matt and Nora. The doorbell rings and Matt runs downstairs putting his hoodie on.

"Coming!" he shouts and answers the door. "Hey, Nora, How do I look?"

"Sparkling"

"You always know what to say!" he says before walking off with her.

Dipper sighs a sigh of defeat "Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence." She is looking at a video that shows Matt trying to teach Nora how to skate, but she only falls over. She fast forwards to a scene where Matt and Nora are staring at mountains. "I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and—" On the video, Nora's hand falls off. She glances around, then reattaches it. "Wait, WHAT?!" She is shocked and rewinds the tape and watches it again. She screams and tips the chair backwards _._ "I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Sh _e_ races outside, yelling "Graunt Sera! Graunt Sera! Graunt Sera!" She sees her giving a tour.

"And here we have Rock That Looks Like A Face rock: the rock that looks like a face."

"Does it look like a rock?"

"No, it looks like a Face." Sera Explains.

Meanwhile, in the forest Matt and Nora are talking.

"It's great to finally be alone, isn't it?" the boy asks his date

"Yeah...alone"

Back at the Shack

"Is it a face?"

"No it is a rock that _looks_ like a face." Dipper could tell this could take a while, Fortunately, Wendall drove up in the Mystery Cart.

" Wendall! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my brother from a zombie!" Wendall hands her the keys.

"Just fill her up before you bring her back." She begins to drive off, only to be stopped by Soos."

"Dude, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies," she gives Dipper a Shovel. "and this is in case you see a piñata." and gives her a baseball bat.

"Thanks, Soos!" she shouts before driving off to save her brother. Back in the forest, Nora is about to tell Matt something Important

"Uh, Matt," The teen sighs "Now that we've gotten to know each other, there's something I should tell you."

"Oh, Nora, you can tell me anything!" is what he said, while he was thinking _, Please be a sorceress. Please be a sorceress!_

"Ok, but don't freak out, Try to keep an open mind" She says before unzipping her jacket, she takes it off and reveals five little women, standing on top of eachother. All of them wearing green leaf dresses, except for the one on top, the one who posed as Nora's head. She was wearing a red dress. Matt looked at them with a shock. The one in the red dress is the first to speak.

"So, is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" she asks Matt, who was still in utter shock. "Ok, let me explain this, we're Nymphs, well that's a start."

"Wait, I thought Nymphs were taller that me."

"You think you're the first person we pulled this stunt on?"

"Good point." Matt said, he was still in shock, though.

"Ok, so now that we got that covered let's introduce ourselves. My name is Janet, and here we have Carla, Stephanie, Jamie, and…" She looks down at the last nymph, " I'm sorry, I always forget your name."

"Whagintuffle." The wild eyed nymph said.

"That's right, Whagintuffle. Anyway, long story short, us nymphs have been looking for a boy like you to be our new king, Matt. Right girls?"

All the nymphs chant "King! King! King!"

"So what do you say?" she hands Matt a box with a ring on it. "Will you make us your signymphacant other? Sig...sig-nifi-cant! Blah! Can't talk today!"

Matt looks at her and sadly says "Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a boy, and you're nymphs, and it's like, 'what'? Yikes…"

All the Nymphs look sadly at him, "We understand. We'll never forget you, Matthew." Janet says. Matt smiles when hears this "Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Wait, What?" was the last thing Matt said before he was tackled to the ground by the nymphs.

"Don't worry, Matt!" Dipper says driving through the forest "I'll save you from that zombie!"

That's when the girl heard a familiar voice

"Dipper, I'm over here!" The voice cried

"Hold on!" She drove the Mystery cart over to where she heard the voice and was surprised at what she seen.

"What on earth is going on?" she asks. She sees her brother tied to the ground by what looks like little women. one of them hisses at her. Matt struggles to get out.

"Dipper, Nora turned out to be a bunch of nymphs! And they're total jerks!" He tells his sister. One of the nymphs grabs his ear."Ow! Ear! Ear! Ear!"

"Nymphs? Huh, I was _way_ off. " She takes the journal out of her vest and reads the relevant page aloud _._ "Nymphs: Magical guardians of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown." When she lowers the book, she sees that the nymphs have managed to tie Mattl to the ground.

"Aw, Seriously?" That's when Dipper sees the Leader and confronts her.

"Hey, Hey! Let my brother go!" she demands. Janet turns around and sees the girl.

"Oh! Ha ha, hey, there!" the little nymph confesses. "Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your brother's not in danger. He's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our nymph king for all eternity! Isn't that right, darling?"

"You guys are butt-faces!" a nymph covers his mouth and he mutters something.

"Let him go or else!" Dipper demands, pointing the shovel at Janet.

"You think you can stop us, little girl?" Janet says with a smirk "You have no idea what we're capable of. The nymphs are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-" She is cut off by Dipper tossing her aside with the shovel. She then cuts Matt free with the shovel.

"Thanks, sis." and they run to the cart, Janet gets up and sees them on the cart.

"She's getting away with our king! No, no, no!" she hollers, she tries to run after them.

"Buckle up!" Dipper tells her brother. She floors it, leaving the nymphs in the dust.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, little girl." Janet says before shouting "NYMPHS OF THE WILD, UNITE!"

"Hurry, Dipper, I don't want to get married yet!" Matt says

"Relax, Bro-Bro." Dipper reassures him" Did you see how tiny their legs were? I'd love to see them try and catch up with us."

They felt the ground shake and turned around, they see a giant stacked nymph. "Ok, ladies, like we practiced." Janet says from the top of the head, controlling it. "Now, let's get ourselves a man!"

"Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive!" Matt tells his sister.

"Give us back our king" Janet demands before launching some nymphs at the kids.

"She's Getting closer!" The nymphs begin causing mayhem on Dipper, She grabs one and beats it over the wheel.

"Whagintuffle" Dipper throws her off, another nymph latches on to her face.

"I'll save you Dipper" and Matt beats the nymph off of her, along with her hat.

"Thanks, Bro-Bro." she says weakly.

"No problem." he says "Watch out!" and he points to a tree growing.

Dipper manages to swerve and avoid it, but the cart flips over and her and Matt fall out, Fortunately right in front of the Mystery Shack. "Stand back!" She throws the shovel at the giant,

but she just knocks it out of the air.

"Hey, Dipper I got a question."

"What is it, Matt?

"Where's Graunt Sera?" He asks.

In the shack, Graunt Sera is giving another tour. "Behold! The world's most distracting object." she holds up a spinning spiral, "Just try to look away, you can't! I can't even remember what I was talking about."

Back outside, Janet has cornered the kids. "it's the end of the line, kids! Matthew, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"There has got to be a way out of this!" Dipper tells her twin.

"I gotta do it." Matt says with a straight face.

"What?! Matt, don't do this! Are you crazy?"

"Trust me."

"What?"

"Dipper, just this once. Trust me!" Dipper looks at her brother and nods in approval. He then looks at the giant. "Ok, Janet I'll marry you, but I think I need to give you this first." he reaches in his pocket, grabs the box with the ring, and gets on a knee.

"Oh Boy!" Janet squeals. she begins to climb down "Help me down there, Jamie, Thanks, Andrea! All right, left foot, there we go, watch the hair, Michele." she reaches the bottom of the giant and runs over to Matt.

"Janet, will you make me the happiest boy in the world?" He asks the nymph

"Of course!" and Matt put the ring on her finger, He leans in for a kiss, she follows suit, but she doesn't see what's in his hands.

"Good!" and he turns on the leaf blower.

"Huh, wha-" and she gets sucked in the blower.

"That's for lying to me!" he turns up the sucking power "That's for breaking my heart!"

"Oh no, My hair!" The nymph cries out,

"And this is for hurting my sister!" He aims the leaf blower at the giant and turns to his sister.

"Care to do the honors?" he asks her.

"Gladly." She says with a sly grin, She turns the leaf blowers power to full blowing power, launching Janet at the giant.

"AHH" Janet screams and destroys the giant, with nobody to give orders, the nymphs run into the forest, "I'll get you back for this!..." Janet calls out.

"We did it!" Dipper says merrily.

"Yeah we did!" Matt says, "Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."

"Oh, don't be like that." She confronted her brother "You saved our butts back there!"

"I guess I'm just sad that my first real girlfriend turned out to be a bunch of nymphs."

"Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one _will_ be a sorceress!"

"You're just saying that!" he said punching her shoulder.

"Awkward sibling hug?" Dipper holds out her arms.

"Awkward sibling hug." and they hug and patting each other on the back saying "Pat. Pat" they enter the Shack and see Sera at the counter.

"What happened to you guys?" she asked them, but they keep walking. "Wait, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, no strings attached."

Dipper looks at a hat with a pine tree on it and tries it on. "Perfect, what are you getting Matt?"

Matt is digging in a box "I think I'll take.." he jumps up and spins holding something in his hand "A GRAPPLING HOOK!" he shouts

"Huh, I thought we got rid of those after that kid shot his eye out." Graunt Sera explains" Just don't shoot anything or anyone that can sue us!

Later that night Dipper is in her orange nightgown, and Matt is in his blue shirt and gray sleep shorts. Matt is jumping on his bed while Dipper is Writing in the Journal.

 _This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back._

After writing this, Dipper closes the Journal and turns to her brother.

"Hey, Matt, could you get that light?"

"I'm on it" he exclaims, and grabs the grappling hook and shoots the light and window. "It works!" Both siblings laugh before going to sleep.

Our aunt told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.

after the twins have gone to sleep, Sera is seen walking and holding a lantern. She goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, and Sera walks inside, looking side-to-side for people before closing it behind her.

 **A/n: It took me a few days, but here is Episode 1! Woot Woot! and just in time to, The hiatus ends tomorrow! Please review!**


	2. The Legend of The Gobblewonker

Episode 2, The Legend of the Gobblewonker.

Dipper and Matt are seen at the kitchen table, eating breakfast.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Matt asks his sister, holding a bottle of Mrs. Kakes pancake syrup.

"I'm always ready!" Dipper retorts grabbing her bottle of Molasses Masters syrup.

"Then you know what this means!"

"Syrup race!" The twins say and lift their respected bottles up, cheering them on.

"Go, Mrs. Kakes!"

"Come on, Molasses Master!s!" The race is neck-and-neck,

"Almost.." Matt is saying "Almost…" He taps the top of the bottle, and the drop of syrup falls in his mouth. "Yes!" he boast before coughing "I won!"

Dipper laughs at her brother and grabs the newspaper "Woah, Matt. Check this out!" She shows her brother a ad in the paper.

"No way! a jet pack?"

"No, not that, Matthew." She points to the monster photo ad. "This. we see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those nymphs, did we?"

"Nope! Just memories and this piece of hair." He shows his sister a wad of hair .

"Why do you even have that?" She asked him. He just shrugs and puts it back in his pocket. Graunt Sera walks in with a smile.

"Good morning, family!" She chimes in a sing-song voice, making her way to the fridge. "Can you guess what today is?"

"Uh," Dipper ponders "Happy Birthday?"

"Bat mitzvah!" Matt calls out.

"Nope" Sera says, reaching in and grabbing some orange juice"It's family fun day silly!"

She sits down and picks up the paper."We're closing shop today and going to bond!"

"Graunt Sera, will this be like the last bonding day?" Her great niece a skeptical look

 _Flashback_

 _Dipper and Matt are seen helping Sera make counterfeit money._

" _You call that Ben Franklin?" She complains to Matt "He looks like a woman!" They hear police sirens "Uh-oh. Run kids!"_

 _End Flashback_

Matt shudders" The food in prison is worse than school food."

"Nope, Its the real deal!" Sera confirms. "And I promise that today we're gonna have some _real_ family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

"Yay" The twins chirp. Then Dipper full realized what her Aunt

"Wait what?"

* * *

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Dipper wonders. "If I learned anything from TV, it's that blindfolds never lead to anything good."

"It feels like my other senses are heightened," Matt says "I can see with my fingers!" and he starts touching Dipper's face. she giggles a little. The car swerves and The twins hit their heads on the roof.

"Ouch!" Dipper cries out. "Graunt Sera, you aren't wearing a blindfold too, right?"

"Of course not!" She defended "Although with these cataracts I might as well be."

"Phew, that's a relief." Matt sighs. He turns to twin and whispers." Hey Dipper, What are cataracts? Is it bad for driving"

"What is that, a woodpecker?" Graunt Sera asks, before driving off a wooden guardrail

"Does that answer your question, Matt?" Dipper yells. The twins are screaming for their aunt to stop, but she doesn't.

* * *

"We're Here." Sera says. She turns around and sees the twins shaken up, holding one another for dear life. "Oh, look at you two, hugging each other, trembling with joy. Well, let's get out of the car, and take off those blindfo-." She sees the twins run out of the car. "Wow they sure are excited today. Ok. you can take off those blindfolds now!"

Dipper and Matt take off their blindfolds. "Ta-da! We're spending a day on the lake!" Graunt Sera says gleefully. "It's opening day of fishing season, so I thought you two could fish and I could watch."

"Fishing?" Matt asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"What's your angle, old maid?" Dipper asks her, pondering what she really wants.

"Oh come on, You'll love it!" She explains "The whole town is out here." She points to the various lake goers.

"Come here, fishies!" Cookie Calls out, banging on his frying pan. Sera then points to the dock. A woman is seen with a camera, taking a photo of a man with a humongous fish.

"Smile for the camera!" Tobi calls out to the man with the giant fish. the flash on the camera blinds the man and he falls in the lake. The next scene shows a tall, slender, redhead woman with her three daughters on a boat, the oldest daughter, who looks about 13 showed her mother her fishing pole.

"Like this, Mom?" a girl asked her mother.

"No!" Lady Haley yells " _This_ is how you fish!" She jumps in the water and comes up with a fish in her mouth, The three girls cheer their mother on as she dives down to catch another fish. A Large, masculine biker chick cheers"Get' em! Get' em!"

"See? Graunt Sera points out "Family bonding time."

"Graunt Sera," Her niece asks "Why do you want to bond with us now?"

"Well, when you get to be my age, you don't have many people to spend time with, and those gals at the bridge club won't spend time with me, they don't 'like' or 'trust' me."

"I think she actually wants to bond with us." Matt whispers to his sister.

"Look, I even made you guys some hats!" Sera puts hats on the twins, Dipper's hat has 'Dippy' written on it. Matt has 'Matty' written on his."That's hand stitching, you know." one of the 't''s on Matt's hat falls down.

"It's just going to be you, me, and those hats for ten hours" Graunt Sera reaches in her bag and grabs something.

"Ten hours?"

"I brought the 'opening up about your feelings' book." She showed them the book. Dipper and Matt get a look of dread.

"No! NO!" Dipper cries out. Matt comforts his sister.

'Don't worry, Dipper." He says "There has to be a way out of this."

"I'VE SEEN IT! I'VE SEEN IT AGAIN." The twins turn to see a old woman was running on the dock. She had long white hair, wild eyes, and her right arm in a cast. She was wearing brown overalls, a white T-shirt, and a brown sun hat. She wasn't wearing shoes, but had bandages on her feet. She is seen running into various objects, screaming "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" She proceeds to dance frantically

"Oh cool, She's doing a happy jig." Matt says, smiling at the old woman

"No!" She corrects him."It's a jig of grave danger!"

"Hey! HEY!" a woman comes out out of the Bait and Tackle store and confronts the old woman.

"Mom, How many times must I tell you to stop screaming about the lake monster?" The woman sprays her mother with a bottle of water." Now go home, I don't need you scaring away my customers!"

"But I have proof this time!" and she takes them to the dock and shows them a boat with a huge bite in it."Behold! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this lady right here!" She points to Graunt Sera, who is putting on lipstick.

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island!" She exclaimed, turning around to the crowd "YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"

The police show up "Attention all units!" The cop called out in a mocking voice "We got ourselves a crazy old crone!" And everyone laughs at them, except for the Pines, and the old woman's daughter. Dipper looked at the woman and seen her nametag. "Taylor McCorkle." she whispers under her breath. The woman pinches her temples and walks off.

The old woman, Mrs. McCorkle, just looks down in shame at the laughing crowd."Aww, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!" She mutters as she walks off

"Well, that was interesting," Graunt Sera says, "Now let's get going, Untie the boat and let's enjoy our day on the lake."

"Matt, did you hear what that old woman said?" Dipper asked her brother

"Aw, banjo polish!" Matt responds, mimicking the old woman

"No, The other thing,The monster." She explains "If we can get a picture of it, we can split the prize fifty-fifty.

"That's two fifties!"

"Imagine what we could do with five. Hundreds. Dollars!"

* * *

Matt is seen with a jetpack, about ol launch off.

"Eat your heart out, 007!" he shouts before launching himself into the sky. He is seen doing flips and barrel rolls in the sky, then he sees a blonde girl riding a unicorn with wings,

"Hey, baby." He calls to her as he catches up "You can look, But you can't touch." He then speeds up, and breaks the sound barrier.

"He's so dreamy!" the girl is squeals, swooned over by Matt . "Ok, Rapid Breeze, let's go home"

* * *

"Matt? MATT!" Dipper is shaking the boy. He snaps out of the daydream

"Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!" Matt says with a determined look, and the twins run over to their aunt, who has taken a seat in her boat. Named 'Sera's Grace'

"Are you two ready to go?" she asked them.

"Graunt Sera, Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Dipper insists before her and Matt start chanting "Monster Hunt! Monster Hunt!"

"Monster Hunt! Monster…." Dipper and Matt stop chanting and turn to see the old woman chanting with them. "Eh… I'll go." and she walks off. A large horn is heard and The twins turn to see a large boat with a familiar face, smiling with her buck teeth.

"I heard you guys say something about a monster hunt?"

"Soos!" The twins shout

"Hey Dipper, Hey Hammy" She gives Matt a noogie,

"Ow, why do you call me 'Hammy' anyways, Soos?" Matt asked the woman.

"I'll explain later." She turns to face both twins. "You guys want to use my boat to look for the monster? It has a wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff."

"All right, all right, let's think this through. You kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure the local kook told you about." Graunt Sera scoffs " _or_ you could spend the day learning how to bait a hook and talk about your feelings with your Great Aunt Sera!"

The twins look to Soos, She does the robot dance. They turn to their Graunt Sera, who is smiling, and checks her breath. They turn to look at Scuttlebutt Island. They turn to each other and smile.

"So, you coming or…" Graunt Sera is cut off by the twins shouting and riding in Soos's boat.

"Woo hoo! I regret nothing!" Matt shouts

"See you later, Graunt Sera!" Dipper tells her aunt. Not seeing how upset and angry she was.

"Ingrate!" Sera shouts at them. "Who needs them? I'll just read my book about feelings myself." She opens the book, and closes it admittedly. "Who writes this stuff?" and throws the book overboard.

"Hoist the anchor!" Dipper orders. Soos lifts a cinder block out of the water."Matt, Hoist the flag!" Matt lifts a towel into the air. "Now lets find the Gobblewonker!" She shouts.

"We're going to win that Photo contest for sure now!"

"Do you guys have any sunscreen?" Soos asks.

"We're going to go get some sunscreen!" Dipper shouts. The boat turns around and heads back to the mainland. nobody noticed the large, shadowy, figure is seen in the water.

* * *

"Ok, what's the biggest problem with most monster hunts? if we want to win the contest, we need to do it right!" Dipper explains to the other two, pacing on the main deck of the boat.

"Oh!" Matt perks up. "The monster is a hoax!" Dipper just shakes her head in shame. She turns to Soos.

"You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie." She looks alarmed at what she says "Wait, am I a side character?! Do you ever think about stuff like that?" Dipper groans and pinches her forehead.

"No, guys, It's camera trouble!" Dipper explains "Say a Sasquatch shows up. Soos, be Sasquatch?" The handywoman strikes a sasquatch pose."Oh look, It's Bigfoot," The girl says in a mocking voice."Where is my camera?" She pats her life vest."Wait, here it is!" and holds up a camera. "Oh no, cracked lense!" she turns to face them. "See what I mean?"

"Our girl's got a point" Soos says and Matt nods in agreement.

"That's why I got That's why I bought _seventeen_ disposable cameras!" She shows them where they are located on her body. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one…" She takes off her hat "under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay everybody, let's test our cameras out!"

"AH!" Soos accidentally flashes her eyes and throws the camera overboard.

"See? This is why I bought extra cameras. we still have sixteen cameras left!"

"Ah!" Matt yells as he was attacked by a seagull. "Go away!" He throws another camera overboard.

"Fifteen," Dipper says "Ok, Guys, Don't lose your cameras. I repeat: Don't lose the cameras!"

"Lose the cameras?" Soos asked the girl

"NO, DON'T!"

"Sorry, I already threw two off." She points to two cameras in the water.

"Thirteen, we have thirteen left." She is so stressed, she crushes the camera in her hand. "Twelve. We have Twelve left."

"So now what?" Matt asked his sister. "Are we ditching more cameras or what?" holding a bag of cameras overboard.

"NO!" Dipper snaches the bag from him, "Look, go be lookout, Soos, navigate the ship."

"And what will you do?" Matt asked his sister.

"I'm the captain, I tell the others what to do." Dipper retorts.

"Isn't that what you do normally?" Matt mutters under his breath.

"What did you say?" She hissed.

"Oh, Nothing, Hey can I be co-captain?"

"That's not a real position, Matt."

"Woops." He threw a camera overboard.

"Ugh, Fine" Dipper groaned "Just go look out for the monster ok?

"Thanks, captain!" He gave his sister a hug and ran off.

* * *

"Little brats." Graunt Sera mutters "I'll find someone to chat with," She looks around and sees a couple in a boat. "Ah," She starts the boat engine. "There are my new friends."

A man is looking at a ring, He takes a deep breath and turns to face his lover. "Rosana, now that we're alone, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you."

"Oh, Reginald!" Rosana cried.

"Hey!" Graunt Sera pulls her boat up to theirs "Wanna hear a joke? Here it goes. I still miss my ex-husband...but my aim's getting better!" She pauses. "My aim is getting better!" She Pauses again, "You see, it's funny because marriage is terrible." She laughs. They look upset at her and row their boat away. "Was it something I said?"

* * *

Back at the boat, Dipper is Trying to look through the fog that enveloped the boat, Soos is shoveling fish food off the side of the boat, and Matt is playing with a pelican, pretending to be a ventriloquist.

"Hey there, How are you Mr. Pelican?" He asked the pelican, he grabbed the pelican's beak and says "I'm doing awesome!"

Dippr rolls her eyes" Matt, we need you to focus, so can you please leave the pelican alone?"

"I'm sure he doesn't mind." Just as Matt said that the pelican turned around and started attacking him. "Dipper, help!" hiis sister ran to his aid, and they scared it away.

"Now will you be lookout? I think we're close to the…"Dipper and Matt are thrown forward. The boat is seen crashed on the island's shore "Island."

"Wow. that job was easy!" Matt exclaims. "Now lets go get me a Jetpack!"

The three of them are seen with a lantern, walking along the island. Matt and Soos stop at the 'Scuttlebuttt island' sign. "Hey, Soos, look!" Matt covers the 'Scuttle' part up. "Butt Island!" the two of them laugh while Dipper groans in annoyance. "You ok, Dipper?" He asks his sister."Are you scared?"

"Psh, yeah right. It takes a lot to scare me" Matt is seen creeping up behind her, "Boo!" he yells Dipper shrieks, dropping the lantern. She proceeds to hit her laughing brother. They stop immediately when they hear a noise unknown to any of them.

"Did you guys hear that?" Soos asked the kids.

"Yeah, What was that?" Dipper reaches for the lantern, but before she can grab it, a racoon grabs it and runs off, leaving them in the fog,"Oh no, The lantern!"

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea.'' Soos worries

"Not a good idea?" Dipper states. "Imagine what would happen if we get a photo of this thing."

* * *

We enter Dipper's mind, she is dressed like Lara Croft, being interviewed by a talk show hostess.

"Tonight we're here with adventure seeker Dipper Pines, who bravely photographed the elusive Gobblewonker! Tell me, Dipper: what's the secret to your success?" She asks the adventurous girl.

"Well, I run away from nothing." Dipper states, fixing her hair "Nothing, except for when I ran away from my annoying Graunt Sera," An embarrassing picture of Graunt Sera appears on screen. "Who I ditched in order to pursue that lake monster."

The woman nods in agreement with the girl. "How right you were to do so. She looked like a real role model to girls everywhere!. I don't often do this, but I feel the need to give you an award!" She gives her a metal and their photo is taken. Suddenly Matt breaks through the skylight with his jetpack.

"Charlotte," He cries out."Why won't you interview ME?!" He chases after Dipper and Charlotte around the stage.

* * *

"So are you guys in or what?" Dipper sticks her hand out.

"Im in!" Matt sticks his hands out and grabs his sister.

"Me too!" Soos sticks her hand out as well. "No way I'm letting you two have all the fun."

They walk towards where they heard the noise coming from. After a few minutes they hear the noise again.

"Guys, I think I see it!" Dipper exclaims, pointing to a large outline of a creature like the old woman had described earlier. They hide behind a log. "Get the camera's ready, and wait for my signal." she whispers. "NOW!" They run at the creature, snapping multiple photos of the creature, but when they get closer to it, they see it's just a wrecked boat with beavers living on it.

"Well, That was unexpected." Matt said with a stoic look. Dipper was frantically looking around.

"But... but what was that noise, then?" She professed "I heard a monster noise!" They hear the noise again, and turn to see a beaver chewing on an old chainsaw.

"Wow, Neato!" Soos says, taking a picture of the beaver.

"Maybe the old woman was nuts after all?" Dipper ponders. she sits on a rock, and buries her face in her hands

"She _did_ use the word 'scrapdoodle', Dipper" Matt tried to comfort her, but just backed off after he seen how upset she was.

Dipper picks up a rock and looks at it. "What're we gonna say to Graunt Sera?" She asks herself. She clenches the rock in her fist "We ditched her over nothing." She threw the rock as far as she could.

"Dipper, are you ok?" She turns to see Matt and Soos looking at her, she gets up, dusts herself off, and puts on a smile.

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking." She doesn't see the large, prehistoric creature rise above the water right behind her. "I guess that Gobblewonker is just a myth, Let's go home, guys!" She sees Matt and Soos are staring at something. "Is everything ok? You guys look like you seen a ghost."

"Dipper, can you show us how to take a picture of the monster again?" Matt asks her.

"Uh, Sure." She wondered why he asked now, and not when they were monster hunting. she grabbed her camera. "Just turn around and…." She turned to see the Gobblewonker in all it's glory. She snapped a photo of it and the flash blinded the creature. It roared in rage and the trio ran to the boat with the creature in tow. In the panic, Dipper dropped her camera.

"My camera!" she runs to grab it, but Soos grabs her. "We need to get back to the boat!" She tells the little girl. "If it makes you feel better, I Have a camera full of selfies!"

"HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?" She screams as they make it to the boat.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sera is busy on the lake.

"And That's why you need to study more." she is talking to a little girl, who looks deeply disturbed by what she has been told.

"Uh..Mam?" The girl's mother asked her. "Can you please go away, I've called the cops already and they'll be here soon!"

"Well it's obvious somebody didn't study in school." The girls mother was about to grab her, when flashing lights came in view.

"Remember what your Graunt Sera has told you, Dear." and she speeds off, with the cops in pursuit.

* * *

"Quick! Help me push it in the water!" The three of them push the boat in water, Soos then lifts the twins up into the boat and gets in herself. The Gobblewonker is a few yards ahead.

"Drive, Soos!" The twins scream. The handygal drove backwards and made a U turn. the creature is only a few feet away from them.

"Ok, Let's get that photo!" Dipper grabs a camera."Oh come on, a cracked lense?" She throws The camera. "Matt! Get a photo of it!" She sees him throwing the camera's at the monster. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Don't worry,sis!" He reassures her. "I still have one camera left! Here, catch!" He throws her the camera, but misses and it hits the wall, breaking into pieces. "Opps."

"Ugh, Let's just focus on Surviving now!" Dipper runs to the front of the boat. "Soos, Look out! Beavers!"

She rams into the beaver dam. The beavers attack them, and when they get them off, they see they're heading right into a waterfall.

"What do we do now!?" Matt yells. Dipper is seen with the Journal flipping through the pages.

"Ok, Good news!" She shouts, pointing to a page in the book. "I think there might be a cave back there!"

"YOU THINK?!"

All of them scream and drive the boat behind the falls, it crashes and the trio fly off. The Gobblewonker tries to follow but gets stuck in the cave entrance.

"Dipper, it's stuck!" Matt tells his sister. She rubs her head. "It's stuck?" She frantically searches for a camera, but can't find any. Matt lifts her hat up, revealing the last camera. "Thanks, Bro-Bro!" she hugs him, and runs to take pictures of the beast.

"Did you get any good pictures?" Matt asked his giddy sister.

"They're all good ones!" She exclaims

"WOO HOO, JETPACK!" He shouts hugging her jumping for joy.

The Gobblewonker is still struggling to escape, and it causes a rock to fall on its head. it makes some electrical, shutting down noises. Dipper sees this and investigates the creature further.

"That's weird," she says, by now Matt and Soos are with her. She knocked on the creature's back and it made a hollow, metallic sound. A door on the monster's back opens, and when the trio look inside, they see the crazy old woman from earlier, driving the mechanical terror.

"Work the bellows and the...Eh?" She looks up and sees them "Aww, banjo polish!"

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this?" Dipper asked the woman, still shocked it was her "W-w-why?"

"Well, I wanted attention." she says hanging her head low.

"I don't understand?"

"Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with my hair!"

"We get that part." Matt told her "But _why_ did you do it?"

"Well, when you get to be an old gal like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore." The old woman explained. My own daughter hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch her fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot!" She laughs maniacally "But in retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Dipper and Matt look at their hats Graunt Sera has made them and sigh.

"So, did you ever talk to your daughter about how you felt?"

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robot!" A projector shows blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor "I made lots of robots in my day!" She pushes button and projectors shows a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word 'chaos'. "Like when my husband left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron," She pushed button again and projectors shows a picture of a woman. "or when my pal Erin didn't come to my retirement party" She pushed button again and projector shows another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word 'disaster'. "and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" She laughs like a maniac. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray! Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

Dipper takes out the camera. "Well, we can't enter this into the contest."

"Well, we still have a roll of film left." Matt points out

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" They both look at each other and grin.

* * *

Graunt Sera has a look of defeat on her face. she sees a boat approach her. "I'm not near anybody, so…" She sees its Dipper and Matt "Oh it's you two." she snarled "How was your 'monster' hunt."

"it was ok." Matt says. "How was your day been? Did you miss us?"

"Oh no, of course not! I've been having a great time without you kids! Making friends, talking to my reflection- I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun." She looks at the twins and sighs. "I guess you two are ready to go home now, aren't you?"

"Well," Dipper explains "We've been thinking…"

"We have been looking for a dinosaur all day…" Matt continues.

"We realized that the only dinosaur we want to spend time with is you." They put their hats on.

"Ok, Climb aboard." and the twins climbed onto their aunts boat. Soos soon join them, as her ship has sunk into the lake."

"Ok, I guess we can stay for a little while longer." She says.

"Yay" The twins shout and they make their way back to the deeper part of the lake.

"Whoa, What was that?" Dipper asked her Graunt, "Just a little turbulence, kid, just a little turbulence." and they all laugh. Not knowing that a beast is under their boat, waiting for somebody to discover it…

* * *

 **A/N woohoo! Chapter two is done! Now I am wondering what I should do next? Headhunters? or The hand that rocks the mabel? I'll let you guys choose! So please review and until next time.**

 **F TLKABO FC JZDRZHBQ EXP PBBK QEB OBXI DLYYIBTLKHBO?**


	3. Headhunters

**A/N I decided to go and do episode 3 so here it is. Alex owns this.**

 **Episode 3: Headhunters**

Dipper and Matthew are seen watching Duck-tective. Matt is working on a new hoodie design. Dipper is on the floor, eating popcorn. Matt reaches over to grab some popcorn, but Dipper smacks his hand. The TV shows a constable, and a duck in a Detective hat

"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir." The constable proclaimed. "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."

The duck is quacking, but the subtitles read "An accident, constable? Or is it…" He turns and faces the camera dramatically "Murder?!"

"What?!" The constable shrieks and looks shocked

"Duck-tective will return after these messages"

Matt and Dipper look shocked, Matt drops his hoodie. "Dude, that duck is a genius!"

"Well, when you're that close to the ground, it's easier to find clues." Dipper pointed out to her brother.

"Psh, you think you can outwit Duck-tective?" Matt asked his sister.

"Matt, I'm pretty sure I can out-smart poultry." His sister boasts "Not to mention I have a keen sense of observation, For example, by smelling your breath i can tell you've eaten…"She sniffs the air. "My bottle of shampoo!?"

"It smelled so nice," Suddenly, Soos bursts in,

"Hey guys, You'll never believe what I found!" she exhults.

"Buried Treasure!" Dipper shouts.

"Buried-" Matt playfully hits Dipper. "Hey, That's my line, silly!"

Soos takes them to a room the twins have never seen before. "Ok, So I was cleaning, and I found this door hidden behind the wallpaper, It gives me the heebie-jeebies!" Inside there are

about twenty wax figures.

"It's a hidden wax museum!" Dipper is looking at the statues with her flashlight.

"Woah," Matt stares in wonder at the figures. "Whoever made these must be good, they look alive!"

"Except this one" Dipper pointed to a figurine.

"Hi there!" Dipper shrieked, :"Relax, hon, it's only me! your Graunt Sera!" All three of them screamed louder and ran off.

* * *

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" Graunt Sera announced. "It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Atilla the Hunn, Miss. Marple," She comes across a wax Jay Leno. "Some kind of man with multiple chins, I guess?"

"You're right Soos." Dipper tells her. "It's definitely creepy in here." she shivers.

"And here we have my favorite: Wax John F. Kennedy." Graunt Sera points to a melted wax figure. She looks down and sees the puddle."Oh, no! Oh no! OH NO!" She screams. "Who left the blinds open? Wax Lee Harvey Oswald! I'm Looking at you!" She bends down to look at the damage."I wonder how you fix a wax statue?"

"Relax, Graunt Sera," Matt Reassures her, "I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"

"Do you think you can do that?" She asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Graunt Sera, I'm Great at arts and crafts! Aside from cooking and cleaning, it's one of the few things I'm better at than Dipper" He grins with his braces showing.

"Ok, but only because I like your moxie, kid"

"Thanks!" Matt does a little dance. "I won't let you down Graunt Sera!" he turns to his sister "Dipper, what does 'moxie' mean?"

* * *

"Hey, Dip-Dip, what do you think of my idea?" Matt shoves his sketchpad in his sister's face.

"He's part robo-pirate, and part dragon robot pirate!"

"Maybe you should draw something from real life" His sister suggested.

"Like a Pancake, with long legs!" He shows his sister his newest creation.

"What about someone in our family, like mom or dad?"

"Hey, kids! Have you seen my shoes?" Graunt Sera hollers She strikes a pose, Matt gets a look of inspiration..

"Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways!" Dipper and Sera just look at him.

"That's normal for him, right?" Sera asks. Dipper just shrugs "I guess so."

* * *

The scene shows Matt working hard on the wax figure. He steps back to admire his work.

"It still needs something, but what?" Then it hits him. "It needs to be sparklier!" He shouts and grabs a bucket of Glitter and throws it on the statue. "Perfect!" He boast

"You done, Kid?" Graunt Sera walks in and almost faints at the sight of the figure.

"Are you ok, Graunt Sera?" Dipper asks.

"More importantly" Matt interjects "What do you think about my figurine?"

"I think…" Graunt Sera says with a smile "It's about time we reopened the wax museum!"

* * *

A few days later, We see Soos directing traffic towards the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Wendall are working the ticket booth.

"Wow, I still can't believe this many people showed up!" the girl eagerly says

"I know, right? Bet your aunt bribed some of them."

"She bribed me" She says, holding up a fifty, Wendall does the same.

"Attention everybody!" everyone turns to the conwoman, she clears her throat. "You all know me, town sweetie 'Madam Mysteries' Calm yourselves, boys!" She walks over towards the covered statue. "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!" She uncovers the statue, revealing it's a wax figurine of herself. Soos plays cheering noises on her keyboard. The crowd is unimpressed. "And now a word from Mattatello"

"It's Matt," he takes the microphone and addresses the crowd. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" The crowd cringes "Yeah. I will now take questions!" He points to a old woman in the crowd "You there!"

"Old Crone McGucket, local kook." The woman says" Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"

"Uh...Sure! Next question!" She points to Tobi Determined.

"Tobi Determined, _Gravity Falls Gossiper._ Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"

"Tobi, That's an Ice Cream Cone!" Graunt Sera points out.

"Yes it is." She sits down, Sera picks the next questioner.

"Shawn Jimenez, a _real_ reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" Other audience members start to complain about not getting pizza.

"Uhh…" Sera thought a minute, grabbing something in her skirt pocket. "That was a typo. Good night, everyone!" She throws a smoke bomb and runs away, taking the admissions with her. The crowd moans and walks away. The saddest individual was a Man in a 'free pizza!' T-shirt.

"In your Face!" Lady Haley threw a knife into pole so hard, it shook the pole.

"Well, That went better than expected" Matt said, beaming with joy. Dipper and Wenell were still in shock at what just happened,

* * *

"Sweet baby back ribs!" Graunt Sera has just finished counting all her money. "Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to this gal!" She points to her wax figurine. Matt jokingly hits her leg."Oh, Yeah you too, you little devil!" She noogies him. "Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" She turns to her wax twin."Kids, Am I right?" She jokes. We see Sera has dragged the statue into the living room and is watching Duck-tective.

"Well Duck-tective, it seems you've really _quacked_ the case!" The constable jokes.

"Don't patronize me." Duck-tective quacks back.

"Ha ha, dumb duck!" Sera jabs the statue with her elbow, "I'm heading to the kitchen, need anything?" The statue stares blankly at her. "I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere." She gets up and leaves.

"Dipper, wanna toothbrush race?" Matt asks his sister, Already in his green computer Pajamas.

"You're on!" Dipper accepted, She was in her orange nightgown with her favorite fuzzy pink before they race, they hear a scream. They race downstairs and find Graunt Sera on the floor crying.

"Graunt Sera, What's wrong!?" Dipper asked the woman, never seeing her this upset.

"Wax Sera, She's been m-murdered!" The twins then see the decapitated wax figure as the clock strikes ten.

When Matt seen what has happened to his creation, He runs to the bathroom to vomit, but doesn't make it in time.

"EW, MATT!" Dipper yells" YOU GOT IT ON MY SLIPPERS!"

* * *

After a few minutes, The police arrive to investigate, Graunt Sera is sitting on the recliner, explaining her account of what happened.

"So I go up to get some grub in the kitchen." Sera babbles. "And when I come back, I found her like this!" She points to the figure. Then turns away and cries.

"My expert handcrafting besmirched." Matt cries out "Besmirched!"

"MY SLIPPERS WERE BESMIRCHED WORSE THIS!" Dipper shouts, holding up a evidence baggie with her vomit-covered shoes.

"It was an accident!" Matt yells. "Look, I'll buy you a new pair, Ok"

"I know you will!" Dipper and Matt then turn their attention to their great-aunt.

"I wonder who would do something like this?" Matt wonders.

The two police women look at each other. "What do you think, Sheriff Blubs?" The taller, skinnier cop asks the shorter, fatter one.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts" Blubs explains "this case is unsolvable."

"What!?" The Pines family cries out.

"Take that back, Blubs!" Sera demands

"Look, There's got to be evidence, motives.I can help you if you want" Dipper offers.

"She's good at it too," Matt proclaimed "She even found out who was eating our tin cans."

"All the evidence lead to Old Crone McGucket!" The girl recalled.

"Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City girl thinks she's going to solve a mystery with her fancy computer phone!" Blubs mocks.

"Aw, Isn't she just the cutest little thing!" Dullard said, pinching her cheeks.

"Cute?" Dipper was a little angry at the two cops who were laughing at her and began to pout.

"Look, Sweet cheeks, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" Blubs explains to the pouting girl. Over the radio, dispatch announced that Steve was about to fit an entire watermelon in his mouth, and the two cops ran off to see if he could do it.

"Matt, I've had it!" His sister fumed. "We're finding out who did this tomorrow! Then we'll see who's cute!" She sneezed a squeak, and her brother laughs

"You sneeze like a kitten!" He chuckles.

* * *

"Ok, Matt, You take pictures of the crime scene, I'll look at the possible suspects." Dipper says, as Matt starts taking pictures. "It's up to us to find out who has Wax Sera's missing head." She lines up the photos of the customers from the unveiling. "A lot of people were upset yesterday, the murderer could be anybody."

"Even us!" Matt gasps

"You never know around here." Dipper grabs her journal and flips through the pages."It could be anything. Mummies, vampires, it might take a while for us to find our first clue."

"I found one!" Dipper runs to where her brother is and sees it for herself.

"A footprint with a hole in it?" Dipper and Matt follow the footprints. "And they lead to… A machete?"

"Maybe Soos can help us out on this clue." Matt suggested

* * *

"Yep," Soos says, examining the blade. "It's a machete, alright."

"Wait a minute." Matt says, thinking, "Dipper, remember that knife thrower?"

She recalls the furious red-haired woman angrily throwing a knife into a pole that made the pole shake."In your face!" she screams.

"Of course! She was furious when she didn't get her free pizza!" Dipper said.

"Furious enough, for _murder!"_ Matt agrees.

"Oh, you guys mean Lady Haley." Soos informs them "Yeah she works at this club downtown"

"Thanks, Soos, we owe you one!" Matt tells her. "Come on, Dipper! Let's go!"

"This is awesome." Soos tells them "You two are like: The Mystery Twins!"

"Don't call us that." Dipper tells the handygal before the duo leaves. Outside the shack they see Sera outside with a coffin.

"Hey, can you two help me?" She asked. "I'm doing a memorial for Wax Sera, Something small but classy"

"Sorry, Graunt Sera, but we have a break in the case!" Dipper told her aunt.

"And a machete!" Matt adds.

"We're going to go interrogate the murderer now!"

"Wait," Graunt Sera said. "That sounds very dangerous and something parents wouldn't allow."

She looks at them and smiles. "Good thing your's aren't here. Get justice for Wax Sera kids!"

She screams. "JUSTICE!"

* * *

The Mystery Twins are outside the club, sneeking around.

"Got the fake I.D.'s, Matt" Dipper asks her brother. He hands her a piece of cardboard and they walk towards the club. The busser is seen with tattoos all over his body and is checking I.D's.

The man in front of Dipper and Matt shows him his I.D.

"Sorry, we don't serve juniors here."

"Oh well. Have fun dad!" He tells the old man in front of him.

Tats looks down at the two kids. They show him their fake "I hope this works." Dipper prays. Tats sees the . 'Sir Mattington. Age:21' He turns to the other 'Lady Dippingsauce. Age:45' He looks over them again.

"Works for me." He says and lets them in.

In the club, They look for Lady Haley, it isn't long before they find her, talking to some men, looking bored out of her mind. When she sees two kids approach her.

"Lady Haley, just the girl I wanted to see." Dipper confronts the woman "Where were you last night?"

"I was working here." The woman insists.

"Ok Then I guess you never seen this, have you?" She shows Haley the machete.

"Listen, Kid!" She tells Dipper. "I wouldn't pick my teeth with that knife. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the hand of delicacy!" She sees the man she was talking to slip something in her drink. She picks her butter knife up, throws it with her right hand, then she picks the man up and throws him over her shoulder and knocks a few teeth out.

"Get'em! Get'em!" The large biker chick shouts to her as Haley proceeds to knock a few more teeth out.

On their way out, Dipper tells Matt her plan "it's a left handed machete, Matt. Look These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer."

"Man, we're on fire today!" Matt exclaims

"Let's go find that killer!" Dipper exclaims, and the two run off

* * *

After hours of searching, there is only culprit left. Dipper decides to call Blubs and Dullard to make the arrest. "You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it." Blubs warns them,

" Don't worry the evidence is irrefutable." Dipper tells the Cheif. Matt nods in agreement

"I'm gonna get to use my tazer!" Dullard exclaims "You ready, little fella?"

"On three." Blubs whispered "One, two - Woo Hoo! - Nobody move! This is a raid!

"What is this, some kind of raid?" The shocked news reporter calls out

"Tobi Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan! " Dipper told the woman.

"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work." Matt shouted

"Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!" Tobi replied

"Then allow me to explain" Dipper told her "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper, but when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline." Matt shows a picture of Tobi's shoe, revealing it has a hole in it. "But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby-shoed reporter who was caught left-handed!

"Tobi Determined," Matt makes a finger gun and fires it at her "You're yesterday's news."

"Boy, your little knees must be sore from jumping.." She says to the twins "to conclusions! She does a little dance "I had nothing to do with that murder."

"I knew it!" Dipper yelled "Wait what?"

"Then where were you the night of the break-in?" Blubs asks her.

"Well," Tobi says, playing with her hair "Funny story" She pulls out her security footage from yesterday and see a disturbing sight "Finally we can be alone, cardboard.

cut-out of news reporter Shawn Jimenez!" Tobi starts to make out with the cardboard cutout. Everybody save Tobi shudder in disgust.

"Time stamp confirms it." Blubs unlocks Tobi's handcuffs "Tobi, you're off the hook, - you freak of nature."

"Hurray!" she squeals, running into her closet and grabbing her cardboard cutout and proceeds

"But but it has to be her!" Dipper protests "Check the machete for fingerprints".

"No prints at all." Dullard declares, not questioning a thing.

"No prints? How is that even possible?" Dipper mutters under her breath

" Hey, I got a headline for ya:" Tobi shouts "City kids waste everyone's time." They all laugh Dipper just grabs the weapon and walks away, not knowing who or what to blame the murder on. Matt soon runs after her.

* * *

Dipper and Matt have return to the shack, disappointed that they haven't found anything. They are in the parlor, attending wax Sera's funeral, the wax figures.

Graunt Sera approaches the stand, she tries to speak, but only cries and runs off.

Dipper and Matt approach the coffin, Dipper is slumping over

"Those cops are right about me." She says

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now." Matt tells her

"But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues." She sighs and looks in the coffin and notices something "Wax Sera's shoe has a hole in."

"All the wax guys have that." Matt explains "It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy."

Then it hits Dipper. "Wait, What's left handed, has no fingerprints and has a hole it's shoe? Matt! The murderers are!

"Right behind you, dearie" and the wax figures come to life

"Wax Miss Marple, Wax Charles Dickens!" she gasps, and raises an eyebrow at the third one

"Wax Snoop Dogg?"

"Fo shizzle!"

Wax Jason grabs the Machete from Matt's hands "Oh no! OH NO!" Matt cries out.

"Congratulations, my two amuetur slueths," Miss Marle jeers "you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you. Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." She takes wax Sera's head out of her purse _. "_ Applaud, dears, applaud sarcastically." The wax figures applaud "No that sounds too sincere. Slower." The figures slow their claps down. "That's better."

"But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!" Dipper proclaims

"Let me guess, Magic?" Matt says

"Not quite, Sweetums" Marple explains "We're just cursed" Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your Aunt bought us many years ago at a garage sale.

"A _haunted_ garage sale, dawg!" Snoop added.

" The Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man. By night, We ran things, It was a grand life." Miss Marple recalled "Until your aunt locked us up in that horrid room! For ten years we waited for our revenge, but alas, we got the wrong one!"

She puts wax Sera's head on a rhino's horn and turns it away.

"Wait, You were trying to kill the real Sera? Dipper says

"Man, You guys _are_ creepy!" Matt tells them

"We're sorry, kiddies," Marple says with a creepy old lady smile, "But we can't let you live now that you know our secret." The statues eyes roll back in their head. "Get them."

They back the twins up against a wall. "Matt, any ideas?"

"Why are you asking me? You're the smart one!"

"You think better than me under pressure, ok!"

"Uhh," Matt grabs a pot of hot coffee and throws it on Jason, he begins to melt.

"Hot things melt them! Of course!" Dipper exclaims. They grab the two candlesticks behind them and run at the wax figures!"

"Do you really want to fight us, children?

"Well, considering our other option is death." Dipper says"We'll take a shot at it."

"Ok, dearie, don't say I didn't warn you. " Miss Marple eyes eyes turn red with fury. "Attack" she yells in a deeper, demonic, voice.

The wax figures attack the kids. "Chins up, Jay Leno!" Dipper decapitates him."I'm Relatively upset about doing this, Einstein! " Jason runs at her and falls into the fire. "Stay dead this time!" she shouts.

Meanwhile, Matt is fighting the other statues with Snoops head. "Dipper, take care of grandma over there!" he points to Miss Marple.

"Come on now, love." Marple says with her demonic voice, still with the old lady mannerisms "Don't make this harder than it needs to be." She grabs the swings it at Dipper, breaking her candle.

"Dipper!" Matt throws a hot fire poker her. "Why didn't you just stab her?" Dipper shouts at him, while fighting Marble "Because there needs to be a climactic battle on the roof,"

"Isn't that a bit cliche?"

"Obviously, now go!" Matt shouts. Dipper makes a run for the window, Marple is close behind. in the roof, Marple has successfully disarmed Dipper.

"End of the line, Sweetie!" She asks the girl, who just remembered something the had.

"Yeah." She says, throwing something at the woman's eyes "Eat vomit slipper!"

"Ugh." Miss Marple says with disgust. "You vile little creaton!" When she finally gets off all the juices. She looks for the girl. "Where are you!?" She screams.

"Up here!" Marple looks up on the Mystery Shack sign, and sees Dipper throw another slipper at her

"That's it!" Marple yells, furious at the girl."I'm going to cut off your fingers for that, you little bleedin' horror!"

"No. You won't." Dipper says, Knocking down the 'S' in the 'Shack'. Miss marple looks up to see the S falling on her, She tries to run, but it's too late.

SPLAT!

Dipper goes down to see if she's really gone. The S only crushed the lower half of her body and part of her left arm. When she sees she isn't moving she begins to walk off, until a hand grabs her ankle.

"You think you've won, girlie?" Marple questions the girl. "This isn't the last you've heard of-"

"Yes it is." Dipper informs her. pointing to her watch. "Sunrises are a beautiful thing Miss Marple, let's watch this one!"

"NOOOOO!" The wax figure shouts before melting "Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo." She shouts before melting. Dipper dusts herself off and the dust causes her to sneeze. "Aw," Marple chuckles before melting completely. "You sneeze like a kitten, love!"

* * *

"Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all." Matt shouts, fistbombing his sister.

"Aw, thanks Matt." She says, grabbing wax Sera's head. "But I couldn't have done it without my sidekick."

"No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick." Matt tells her

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?"

"Hot Belgian waffles!" Graunt Sera walks in "What happened to my parlor!?"

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" Dipper explains.

"I Decapitated Snoop Dogg!" Matt boasts.

"Haha, You kids and your wild imaginations." Sera tells them."Hey, what is that, Dipper?"

"Oh, right!" Dipper gives Sera her wax head." We found this investigating"

"My head! Ha ha! I missed this gal! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing!" Graunt Sera noogies them.

"Hahaha" Dipper laughs "Hey Matt, you did get rid of all the figures right?"

"I'm ninety-nine percent sure that I did!" Matt says

"Works for me." Dipper says and they all share a laugh unknown to them however, there was A head in the vents laughing too.

"I love those little nizzles." wax Snoop says. turning to a rat, the rat bites his ear off.

"Ow, Come back here, my nizzle!" He hops after the rat. "I need that dizzle so i can hizzle my morizzle, snizzle!"


End file.
